I have been walking in the rain for 40 minutes. The water is dripping from every piece of clothing that I have on my body. I am still regretting not wearing a jacket. Well, it doesn't matter now.
I see people closing their arms just to retain some heat from their body. I guess they're feeling chilly. But to me, it feels like it's not the rain that's making me wet. I feel like I am sweating. I needed a drink. I walked quickly to a nearby shop and grabbed a coldest Coca-Cola there was. My thirst has suddenly risen up. I held the bottle close, and Chug!, finished it. Felt like people were staring at me. I didn't care. People have been staring at me my whole life. There was a time when I used to be very self-conscious, always wondering what others were thinking of me. Never bought a dress in my life which I loved, always the ones I thought others would probably like. Always scared of doing what I wanted, scared of how I would be perceived by others. I paid the money for my drink, the rain was still pouring. I looked around, there were about 20 people sitting under the roof of the shop. They were afraid of the rain. Didn't want to get wet, I guess. I loved the rain. The rain was beautiful. The sound of the rain alone made me feel calm. So without any care in the word, I dragged my wet body into the road again. The road was full, noises of vehicles were loud and consistent. People seemed to be in a hurry. Perhaps they wanted to get away from the downpour. I stopped, looked up, closed my eyes for a second and just stood there. Tooooot! a loud horn, a bus just passed by. The rain had stopped. I looked down. Shoes all wet and dirty. Didn't want to stop, so just kept on walking. The Spring was here. The flowers seemed more beautiful than ever. The rain had made the Park by the side of the road more natural, more beautiful than on a hot, sunny day. The sky was clear, the sun on the side of the sky was hitting the short trees at the park. "Wow!", I thought to myself. The setting sun is always beautiful. People always love the rising or the setting sun. They look really beautiful. They are there just for a moment. Maybe this is what makes it beautiful. People like what they can't get easily. Nobody cares about the Sun that is there at the top of their head the whole day. In fact, people actually hate it. Where there is a dawn, there will be noon. And only if there is a noon, there will be a sunset. Just from the side of a tree, I saw you. I stopped. I didn't realize I was smiling. Suddenly, I was hating the Sun, I felt suffocated by the heat. Just a moment ago, there was this beautiful rain. Now, it's all that damn Sun and this heat. Oh! this heat. You seemed happy. I always loved that smile. Made me smile too. Suddenly, my heart started to beat very fast. I didn't want to take one step forward. I knew you weren't alone. I just stood there looking at you. The smile on my face had transformed into something I couldn't describe. With all my courage, I looked ahead and just walked away. For the first time in my life, I was hoping to be wrong. I wanted to be wrong. But I knew. I woke up. My body was all wet with sweat. It's been a year since we last spoke. We ran into one another often but no one had a word to say. We mostly looked the other way. I looked around the room. It was pitch black, couldn't see anything. Is my life this dark? Then probably a few houses down, pretty far away, I saw a small light. I smiled and went back to bed. |
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August 2023
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